When should i start timeouts

Parents should introduce time-outs to their kids using as few words as possible: "Time out. No hitting. Hitting hurts. Then the time-out can be lengthened, as necessary, by a few more seconds each time. A quick ending is key too. Kids should be welcomed back into the social thick of household life soon after they regain composure.

In part because of unpleasantness associated with time-out, like screaming and thrashing, some experts have begun to promote what they call a more positive, guidance-based approach to discipline. The guidance camp seeks primarily to effect change in schools and daycare centers, where time-outs are sometimes meted out as shameful punishments instead of brief withdrawals of attention. It's the dunce cap, the nose in the chalk circle.

It just breaks my heart to see how time-outs are misused. The basic idea behind the guidance approach is to teach rules of behavior by talking them over with your child and finding opportunities for your child to make an emotional connection to them, explains early childhood educator Lois Robbert, who teaches in the education extension department at the University of California at Los Angeles.

A child who has hit a playmate, for example, would be asked: "Can you tell me the rule about not hitting other children? Critics are skeptical of this technique because it attempts to teach kids a lesson in the heat of the moment, which hinders retention. The once-trendy "think about what you've done" approach to discipline was discredited for this very reason, says Dr.

But Dr. DeBord explains that the guidance approach is more of a preventive tactic: "It's a way of creating the positive interactions all along, instead of just when the child does something wrong.

It lays the groundwork for what the expectations are. No matter where they stand on the issue of time-outs, proponents and opponents agree on one thing: Time-outs were never intended as the be-all and end-all of discipline.

Parents need a big bag of tricks, experts say, including redirection interrupting a tantrum in progress with distractions like "Look at that fire truck! Guidance advocates are also huge fans of positive reinforcement for good behavior sometimes referred to as time-in and of modeling the behavior adults would like children to emulate, both of which bring them squarely in line with the pediatric and child development mainstream.

If the discipline tactics you use at home are not as varied as they might be, take heart. You are not alone. Experts on discipline techniques say that parents tend to rely almost exclusively on time-outs and spanking until they're educated about options like redirection, prevention, and setting logical consequences for misbehavior.

Neither are parents naturally endowed with the ability to institute perfectly executed time-outs. While the concept of withdrawing your attention from a misbehaving child is easy enough to grasp, putting it into practice is much, much harder than the accepted wisdom might have you believe. Banks says he and his wife struggled mightily to overcome their instinct to react to Trenton's tantrums by hollering back at him.

Banks's advice to fellow parents: Stay the course. Once he and his wife learned to ignore the loud protestations of Trenton, now 7, his son quickly got the knack of taking time-outs without resorting to all the drama.

And since then, Trenton's 3-year-old sister, Skylar, seems magically to have picked up her brother's exemplary time-out behavior. The siblings still torment each other and talk back -- "only every other day," Dr. Banks says with a laugh. But they've started to build the self-calming skills that time-outs encourage.

All content here, including advice from doctors and other health professionals, should be considered as opinion only. Always seek the direct advice of your own doctor in connection with any questions or issues you may have regarding your own health or the health of others. I work at a daycare and it has this half wall in the middle of the room with a gate. Start by choosing a suitable timeout spot. A quiet area without anything fun or distracting is ideal. Point out the behavior that is not acceptable.

Biting hurts. Not getting the results you want with the short timeout? When the timer rings, reiterate which behavior is unacceptable.

Need some more tips for using timeouts effectively? When you send your little one to the timeout area, keep in mind:. But, according to the latest research, time-outs are safe and often helpful at correcting problem behaviors. Contact us at letters time. Live Well. Back To Home. Are Time-Outs Harmful to Kids? The Latest Research Says Otherwise. By Markham Heid. Already a print subscriber? Go here to link your subscription.